“why do we even have that lever” is made funnier by the fact there are only 2 levers to begin with (disguised as a pair of tusks on a statue)
i find the implications hilarious:
kronk only had to remember the location of one lever, and couldn’t even manage that
but on the other hand, it’s easy to get two identical unlabelled levers confused, this one’s on yzma tbh
yzma only needed to make one lever to begin with, but she actively chose to turn thesecond tusk into a functioning trapdoor. she could have just…just not connected the second tusk to anything. it didn’t need to have a function
upon reflection, this also answers the question itself: “why do we even HAVE that lever?” it’s because yzma herself specifically designed it as a booby trap. “why do we have that lever?” because yzma had it built to keep people out of her secret lair! yzma made the very purposeful choice to put that lever there! and then both she and her inept henchman immediately forgot about her own booby trap! yzma that is YOUR LEVER!!!!!
why do we even have that lever? because you built it yzma. these are the machinations of your own design yzma! YOU ARE TANGLED IN A WEB OF YOUR OWN WEAVING YZMA! YZMATHAT IS YOUR CROCODILE!!!
shout-out to everyone in the notes claiming that kronk pulled the wrong lever on purpose. you are so right, this is the face of a himbo who knows what’s up
I just had a random memory of a friends’ kid when she was about six or seven, when she cornered a couple of us at a get-together and says “wanna know what my dad had for lunch?”
We figured this was, while unusual, a pretty straight-forward conversation starter. “Sure”, we said.
We were NOT prepared. She went on this EPIC storytelling monologue about the restaurant and Italy and the art on the walls and some dramatic story she made up ABOUT the art on the walls. We were enraptured. No idea what was going on but by god we were hooked. At no point does she mention food.
The next week, similar get-together with the same people. Same friend I’m talking to. Same child walks up. “Wanna know what my dad had for lunch?”
But NOW we’re prepared, we’re excited. We’re about to hear some SHIT. We grin in anticipation. “Sure!”
“A salad.”
She walks off, seemingly unaware she just set up the funniest fucking week-long joke my friend and I had ever heard
over the last few months, i’ve kept track of the absolute BANGERS my older coworker has dropped effortlessly into conversations. they are as follows:
•*upon seeing the local judges walk towards our office* grab your peanuts sweetie, here comes the goddamn circus
•well i didn’t think i bought tickets to the zoo today, but here these chimps are, flinging their shit
•arguing with that man is like playing chess with a pigeon. it don’t matter how smart you are or how much you know, all he’s gonna do is shit on the board, knock the pieces over, and strut around like he won
•*after hanging up the phone* i’d ask her if she got tired of being so damn stupid, but i doubt she’d understand the question
•if i was her only brain cell, i’d kill myself from underuse
•oh my stars and garters how fucking idiotic can an elected official be. do these people vote after willfully ignoring the actual politics?
•sweetie will you do me a favor? if you push me down these stairs i won’t have to work for a few days, i’ll tell them you had already gone home
•now if you ever need a place to go, my door is always open. i’m gonna make you try my cocktail recipes and help me find a good macaroni recipe, but the door’s still open.
•*in a happy singsong voice* oh sweetie! it’s not 5pm yet! it’s a good thing these windows don’t open! (we’re on the 3rd floor)
•i can’t wait to leave, eat macaroni, clean up the evidence, and then suggest to <husband> that we have macaroni for dinner when he gets home from work
•you think i’d die if i just ate macaroni and drank chocolate liqueur for the rest of my life? (..probably?) well, i’ve lived a good one. you gonna take over my duties on monday then?
